Choices
So either I finish writing this fucking thesis, or I kill myself. This is not a cry for help, just the voice of an incredibly frustrated non-academic trying to write a 60 page academic paper on a topic on which I am by no means an expert even though I have been researching it on and off for months. The facts seem to keep changing. Or maybe I am seeing things differently. And the fact that it’s on climate change adds a whole nother underpinning feeling of anxiety, because, god damnit, we’re fucked and we’re fucked because of all the greedy motherfuckers who, for some reason unbeknownst to me, have always been in charge of the resources and the power and manange to fuck everything up because of their greedy fuckery and fast cars, and that hasn’t changed, and it will never change. And so what’s the point of outlining the injustice or speaking for the people who don’t have a voice? Unless you believe in god or karma (which I’m not sure I do), what’s the point in pointing out what’s “right”? What’s the point in exposing the injustice? Does it ever get us anywhere? Well, yes, I’m sure it does…probably the world would be worse off if not for the people who cried out “Enough is enough!”. But why do things always start out wrong and then need to be corrected? Why can’t we just do something right for once, at the beginning? To the three people who might read this, sorry for being so vague. Just know that I’m fighting for you, babes, I’m fighting for you. If climate change disasters are as bad as many scientisits are predicting (can we even believe the scientists??? everyone is so biased by funding…) many, many people are going to be royally screwed. It’s actually starting already. But maybe they’re wrong and it’ll just be like living in Barbados and everyone will be happy and be forced to get along with one another. Probably not. Well, none of us is getting out of here alive, anyway. So maybe I just don’t need to bother with the thesis. Not serious. ugh.
2 years ago